above the ignorance

one time my friend tim tsurutani put eyedrops in just one of his eyes then we noticed about 10 minutes later in the jewel that it made a huge difference. i got conjunctivitis this morning. isnt smoking pot supposed to be good for your eyes. im going to do it anyway, so that i dont look so asymmetrical and half stoned. its not even pink eye, its more like demon eye, big bad red veins cracking up whiteness. i'm seeing crazy shit out of this right one. its already going away though. the little mucus crystals are forming as we speak to trap and remove whatever virus landed in there last night. i can see them.

Odin has only one eye, which blazes like the sun. His other eye he traded for a drink from the Well of Wisdom, and gained immense knowledge. -Crystalinks

meanwhile, i need one of these....

word intercepts by judah

when the nation was created turkeys ran amok along the mississippi statue of liberty but she looked like a man. And the turkey decided to create a farm that allowed pigs to live on the lily pads midriff headquarters. then the river became overpopulated with cable cars, allowing the pigs to polio to work everyday. Smiling softly car alarms yelled much like banshees do on every other full moon sofa fetish. The cure for their 'sofa fetish' was marmalade in the evening before the second full moon, but if this was missed the hand model would create portraits of her worst.

Nature

So, Judah and I were talking about how a lot of kids like to throw rocks at like little animals and shit.





I decided that that makes soo much sense cuz it's like a video game except your probability of hitting the ducks is so much less because ducks are faster in real life - making it more of a challenge and you'll probably try harder at it and build coordination and shit. And you also have to worry about running out of ammo. And you'd also have to keep track of your points in your head. Yr not gonna have a fucking scoreboard to keep track of shit for you, brah.

Like you hit an animal with a rock and it probably won't die (but if it does, Nice 1 hit KO, brah).

imgs

ear plugs

Wearing ear plugs whilst on reefer madness produces thoughts on how something so squishy is in your ear canal.
I just think of the expansion that is limited by my narrow ear canal, pushing against the walls.
After about 20 minutes I can't take it anymore and I take another hit,
"Pass that shit motherfucker, you've been staring off into space for like 20 minutes.
What can possibly be that entertaining in your brain?"

Stonercraft

There is a will for potheads to make their own crazy pipes. My roommate Cameron hollows out cool looking tree branches, sticks a metal bowl in there, and adds a carburetor stopped up with a crystal. That shit is mystical as hell and hits really hard. My mom always told me if you don't have a pipe, you can use a toilet paper roll with some aluminum foil as a steamroller. The first steam roller I made was, like, two feet long called Excalibur. Then I pushed it too far and made one a yard long, that thing would make you cough and melt, we called it the Peacekeeper. They were weed weapons. Honestly though, the most enjoyable smoking device we ever made was a watermelon bong, complete with a sugar cane neck. It yielded the tastiest, most breathable smoke.

Chicken and Pink Shit

Meat is so gross. I was like, dissecting this fried chicken thigh with my bare hands and I found all these cartilage pieces attached to the bone and veins that bled through to the meat. On the chicken leg that I was later to consume, the skin was peeled down like a banana, unleashing the obscene fury of more veins and cartilage.

The trippiest part though was that I was wearing all pink - like this baby fucking pink. My nails, my hoodie. My arms were pink and ripping up this fried chicken with blood and veins and cartilage. So, I wiped off my hands and went in my room and took off my prescription glasses and put on my non-prescription pink sunglasses and go right back to the chicken carcass, which, in addition to being greasy and foul, was now also pink and blurry.

I should do stand-up.

I took this picture when I was getting these tangerines out of a mesh bag - one at a time. I unintentionally placed them in this formation. And it's real cool cuz it's on a red chair.



I also took this picture of pink divaness.



ya that's me.
Chris has some good shit.


p.s. who wants to contribute to STONR DIARIES?

Listening to: Loveless/ My Bloody Valentine/ Loomer

drip, overflow, upset

Spills happen all over the place:
my shirt
my pants
the floor
the couch
on francis

Things get spilled all the time:
cups
chairs with too much stuff on the back
crumbs
people on the couch, then off the couch
office supplies
tobacco
& your brain all over your face when you are watching Batman Returns (BLASTED AS FUCK)

radical

it burns, brah

Hoodsnacks

I'm still pretty infantile in the sense that I very much like exploring textures with my mouth - especially while blasted. Apples are great. They are like 30 calories and have righteous texture. They are sweet and cold and crunchy, which are all very good things to contemplate while blown. Stoned, I can pack away an entire $2 bag of those hot cheetos.



It's a talent to boast of. Crunchy stuff is good - it makes you super concentrate on what is happening in your mouth. I discovered that my tounge habitually splits the food I'm eating into exactly 1/2, so that each side of my mouth is chewing an equal amount of pretzels. I also compulsively alternate the sides of my mouth that I take initial bites with. The first bite is the most work, so I unconciously rotate the workload.

Before smoking, I find cigarettes fascinating. After smoking, I can't stop eating pretzels.

I bet pretzel is a German word - maybe Dutch.